How to Comprehend Women

Understanding women can be a great challenge--one that I've found requires skills to exceed my own. Thus, I decided that I would try to take an indirect route and seek this understanding through analogy. I figured that I could state some characteristics of women, find something else that shares those characteristics, and acquire an understanding of the more attractive half of the world's humans by studying that which carries the same characteristics.

So, I'll commence by describing a few traits of women. They are beautiful and fascinating. They are vitally important to the way the world works. However, I also find them to be quite irrational.

The question, then, is what else exhibits these same characteristics. The answer, of course, is the square root of 2:
Beautiful? Certainly to those who see the beauty of logic and physics.
Fascinating? Undoubtedly. It has all kinds of purposes, such as multiplying by the length of a leg to find the length of the hypotenuse of an isosceles right triangle.
Vitally important to the way the world works? All math is.
Irrational? Yes, the square root of 2 is an irrational number (look it up if you don't know what this means).
Thus, we conclude beyond doubt that women are like the square root of 2.

This is where we encounter a problem. See, the approximate value of the square root of 2 is 1.414, but this is not exact. In fact, if you continue to try calculating it, you will find that it goes on forever, adding additional numbers beyond the decimal point. No matter how long you study, how long you calculate, you can never have the joy of putting the precise value of the square root of 2 in decimal form. The digits go on into infinity.

This is the enlightening part, for when one understands infinity, they can thus understand the power of the square root of 2 as an analogy to women. Infinity has some unusual characteristics, most notably that any finite number, no matter how vast, when divided by infinity, will result in a number that is basically zero (essentially as close to zero as a number could possibly become without actually reaching it).

Therefore, no matter how many digits of the square root of 2 you have calculated, you are, for all practical purposes, 0% of the way toward finding the exact value.

Thus it is as trying to understand women. There are books, conversations, and other such that will teach you more about them, and it's perfectly reasonable for men to double, triple, or even ten times their amount of knowledge of women. However, as with finding the exact value of the square root of 2, whatever numerical value could be attached to your knowledge of women, it would always be divided by infinity.

We can therefore conclude that after any finite amount of studying and experience, a man will always have a 0% understanding of women.